I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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