The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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