At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
