He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
