I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
