...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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