am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
