Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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