You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
