Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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