Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
