Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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