strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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