OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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