That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
