i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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