so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
