sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
