The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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