Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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