with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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