And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He passed out mid-signature
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
