I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
