I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
