You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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