This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
they're like a gay fantastic four
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
