i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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