Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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