You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
