You're so nebulous sometimes
People in love make me want to vomit
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
