I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
