I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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