PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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