What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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