so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
