You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
