This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
