please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
