I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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