we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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