A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she was so not down for the gang bang
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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