btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
