I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
