Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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