Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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