5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
