I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
