youre lurking in front of me
look no pants
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
