The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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