He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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