guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
